In Which I Share My Grade School Wisdom.

Today was Chester’s first day at a new school — first day on the bus, but we drove behind him and got him to his new classroom. It went pretty smoothly. I’m so proud of him!

Tomorrow, my nephew starts Kindergarten. We were down in Oly last night and stopped at their house to wish him well on his first day of school, and I read him the following list of rules for the first day, and the rest of the days, of Kindergarten:

Rules for the First Day of Kindergarten

1. Do not eat the soap.

2. Don’t toot in class. It’s okay to toot at recess, though. And when you’re
doing sit-ups in P.E.

3. Jesus will be with you, but he doesn’t need his own chair.

4. Be nice to the funny-looking girl with the glasses, because someday she’s
going to be hot.

5. No matter what the big kids say, dirt bombs are not edible.

6. If you start dotting your i’s with circles, they’ll make you talk to a
specialist and you’ll have to do a self-esteem deal where they take out this
box and tell you there’s something very, very special inside of it and when
you open it there’s just a mirror inside. You’re the something special
inside the box. Specialists can be pretty lame sometimes.

7. Poopypants is not a very good comeback when the playground bully is
bothering you. Actually, poopypants is a pretty funny comeback. Use that
one.

8. Crayons are not edible. (They do make you poop fun colors, though.)

9. Your teacher knows everything.

10. Your family loves you and is very proud of you. Have a fantastic day!

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2 Comments

Filed under boys, writings

2 responses to “In Which I Share My Grade School Wisdom.

  1. HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

    Where was this list when I needed it????? I can’t believe I sent my son to 1st grade this week without it, not to mention kindergarten!!!!!

  2. Pingback: In Which We Finally Go Back To School. « little.brain’s outpost

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